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17-year old girl beaten to death in front of the house and murderers in prison. Cheap story with a taste of death, so why am I so attracted? Because I myself have a daughter, because I'm scared, because there is a secret in that death, because I am looking for the truth… I really don't know. Or is it just "another" reportage which will quickly show up on TV and nothing changes.

I was chasing a fata morgana of a murder for half a year. I was sinking in to my internal fights. When, finally, there was the day of reckoning. I was facing "my" murderer and heard the truth. The Truth of the Death… of the death of the girl that hardly someone would notice.

Jakub smiled ironically and wanted to tell about the story. He was smoothing the desk of the table by his finger. I felt my sweat running down my back. Drama of one night changed in front of my eyes into images with frighteningly ruby red colour.

"I even went to dance with Martina. She was a fun, but I had to get back to the bar. There I had an overview and I could observe Kamca. No, I wasn't fixed on her. I didn't want to disturb her but I hoped that I would have chance to dance with her.

I chatted with our class master. He asked me where I'm going to study next. Right that Friday I brought an application to the University so I told him. I came up with only the University of Chemistry and Food Processing Industry so I let myself to be drifted along with my plans. But still I was watching Kamca.

I wanted to prove both him and the boys that I can handle it and that I am absolutely clear about it. In fact I couldn't even imagine the morning. But I had a plan for that evening and it wasn't just a "game", it was the game on the future. I saw it clearly that night. Studies, Kamca, simply the life.

I haven't seen Petr nor Tonda almost the whole night. Only shortly before midnight Tonda joined me at the bar.

"So I have heard that it didn't go well with the guys from Prague."

Petr probably told Tonda all about it, in colours.. I could almost hear him. Talking nonsense.

"No, just little details. It will adjust."

Tonda cheerfully patted me and left. He was OK and I was quite happy he was with us. He was counterbalancing Stencl's obsession.

Kamca danced with one guy all the time. All the night! I had to live with it. I was trying to pretend being ice-cold as much as possible. I even realised that if I focus I am not jealous. I knew an easy way how to make it. I keep track of Kamca only. I was not interested in that guy…

Then I started up to the dance floor and asked her for a dance.

She didn't decline!

They just played a slow piece. We circled around the dance floor and smiled, like mentally retarded. Sometimes, love makes fools from people.

"You look great" I whispered into her ear.
"Well, you see what you missed."

"Not yet.." I looked into her eyes and even though the moment lasted only few seconds, I felt that everything was said in that look.

There are moments in life which are very little but affect the whole life. Right in that moment I felt that one of those just passed. It gave me a hope. I knew it - she still liked me. I was her first and I wanted to be her last one, too.

Well, I planned my life with her, every moment was linked with her. When I was drowning in the depth of my own feelings, when I was flying high in the air with happiness. Everything was related to her. She was both my curse and blessing. Love is great even if it hurts and I knew that I simply had to go through it.

It is like when you pierce your skin with a pin. At first it hurts, then the first blood drop shows up and all of a sudden there is no pain. Only an amazing feeling that you overcame it.

She smiled, the princess of my dreams and the devil and master of my curses. I didn't know when my wounds would be cured but I knew I wanted Kamca being present, with me.

The song finished and she returned to her partner. He even smiled at me ironically. I srugged and returned to my seat on the bar.

This time I took a shot. I need it to relax. I was convulsed with rage and fear. That asshole pissed me off but I knew I needed to get over it.

I had to calm down. I didn't want him to laugh at me. Maybe I was wrong but I felt that both of them are watching me. I better buggered off to a bathroom. Fully dressed I sat down to a toilet bowl and locked the door. Even today I see myself stupidly sitting there, head in palms. It was all ridiculous. She broke with me, so I don't know what I was actually fighting for. I was already tired. Tired of that dissaffection and loneliness.

When the restroom was empty I legged it. I didn't want anybody to see me there. I am not and never will be a doughface.

I returned to the bar and eye-checked the dance floor. There was no evidence of Kamca. I'd better avoided looking that direction. I ordered another Vodka and drank it up in one go.

I was thinking of the end. Actually nothing has happened, nothing at all. I don't know why people think of the death in the moments when quite nothing happens. I was thinking of the end and knew that it is the death. I wasn't able to admit that it is the end of only the relationship, nothing else. Life is going on.

I don't know why I staked everyhing always on a single card. I told myself: "Today we must make it clear". But hardly something goes according to the plan. I anticipated that today nothing changes.

Slowly I encircled the hall once again. She wasn't on the dance floor. Nor in the bathroom. There was a line already and the girls haven't seen her. She dissappeared. Maybe alone, maybe with "him". I don't know.

Again, I returned to the bar. Martina came and smiled at me. I ordered a drink for her.

"So. Is she gone?"